Talking about yourself. Ask them to let you know when they see you making helpful contributions to the conversation, and when they experience you as talking a lot without adding much value. What's the core meaning I'm taking away?
10 reasons you're talking too much, and what to do about it
Model inquiry by asking the team, "What other questions should we be asking? Our ability to self-manage shrinks when our anxiety grows. Talking out of nervousness or insecurity. Both are critical for communication and relationships. While there are countless studies that contend that women out-talk men by more than 13, words a day, other studies show that men and women are equal-opportunity chatters, averaging about 16, words per day. Talking because you had prepared something to say, even if it's no longer necessary or relevant.
Getty Images. What's one point do I want people to take away? Top Stories. Rally listens to someone's ideas, and ask thoughtful follow up questions rather than explaining why it won't work. As Thomas Jefferson once mused, "The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
It's about being clear and concise. Talking to stop someone else from talking.
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All of that talking is costing us time, productivity and energy. This, ironically, tends to undermine rather than build credibility. Remind you of any staff meetings--or family holidays?
Whether it's at a meeting or in a conversation, we think of our turn as a directive or mandate to say somethingrather than an opportunity that we can take, or pass on, or defer until we actually have something more meaningful to contribute. It's the core of the message, the essence of the story, or the headline--like "profit" or "loss"--without all of the details. It also has a negative impact on our likeability, one of the key factors in how we evaluate people.
Whether you see yourself in one of these--or all ten--here are three strategies to help you talk less and have more impact:.
Most of us are great at advocacy and light on inquiry. Yes, research from Duke Medical School found that silence is associated with the development of new cells in the hippocampus, the key brain region associated with learning and memory.
It's also costing us our credibility and our relationships. If Rudyard Kipling was correct that "Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind," then many of us are addicted.
Be a busy, motivated person.
Ask yourself: What's the moral to this story? Find a few trusted colleagues to give you honest, helpful, specific feedback. Bottom-line: Try listening more than speaking, and speaking concisely when you do, and inviting others to share their perspectives.
Talking to change someone's mind. Top Videos. Talking out of habit.
For many of us, speaking can feel like an automatic reflex rather than a thoughtful approach to sharing information. You may have made a thoughtful, impassioned pitch to an investor who responded, "I'll pass," and the impact of those two words still sting today. Still, most people experience silence as something to avoid--especially in conversation. Chances are you have some blind spots about your communication strengths and development areas. People who go on and on and on appear to undervalue others' contributions, lack curiosity and self-awareness, and seem self-absorbed and even nervous.
Be the person in the meeting who asks people for their perspectives before you share your own. Talking to show how much you know.
Research shows that when we talk about ourselves, our brains release dopamine, the pleasure hormone, so we're immediately rewarded when we do so. Start sharing those versions. The term "bottom-line" traditionally refers to the last line on an income statement, where you know at a glance whether the company turned a profit or a loss.
While some of us organize our ideas before sharing them, many of us use talking as a way to clarify and sound out our ideas, working out our mental processes aloud. Or you may still be celebrating a recent "you're hired! Whether you think of yourself as Chatty Charlie, Reserved Rebecca or someone in between, chances are you have experienced the power of saying more with less.
And most of us, regardless of gender, do more telling, advising, convincing, explaining, directing, and divulging than we should. In communication, bottom-lining means saying what you need to say in as few words as possible. Talking because it's your "turn".
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If you've ever worked in an office where someone stage-whispered "layoffs are coming" across the cubicle farm, you've felt the panic that rises from three words. Talking to think. Sponsored Business Content. Talking to fill the silence. And we do this despite the evidence that facts alone rarely persuade.